Pages

My poems

A close encounter

Is there something wrong with not wanting cuddles?

It seems like that’s all people want to do.
Looks unnatural to me,
And it feels out of place.
Maybe the sparks just not there
but if there was I’m not sure I’d care.
My trust keeps breaking,
I’m obviously not ready
My legs aren’t even steady.
Keep falling on my feet
Even if there’s nothing in my way,
An invisible barricade is blocking the arched door.
So I turn down another hallway,
And hope for the best.

Monday, June 27th, 2011


It takes more...

People say they miss you,
Some say they’ll be there when you need them.
Then the next minute they’re gone
and life moves on as always.
People make promises
and try to convince you that their words are true.
Then the next minute they’re gone
and life continues to move on.
You can try to make up for your actions with words
Or make up for the previous actions with more actions…
but if you give up on someone,
Your words don’t mean a thing,
and that’s the way life moves on.

It takes more than apology
it takes more than actions
it takes more than words
it takes time to forget the mistakes
Because to cause someone pain means to say
you never cared enough.
If you stepped on an ant,
you wouldn’t take a second look.

The only one you need to impress is yourself
and as time goes by, people continue to forget.
Won’t you take the time to look into my eyes?
And see the dazzling sparkle that lay behind…
Look into the mirror and that’s what shows,
All that matters is the sparkle you see from within.

Saturday, June 4, 2011
It hurts to be the last one in a line chosen for a team.
It hurts to be forgotten like you don’t exist.
It hurts when people don’t acknowledge your presence.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a friend in the world,
my close bonds are slowly disappearing .
Until one day, forgotten completely.
Keep pushing my way in,
that opening is getting smaller.
It feels forced
there’s no room for such a small object.
A puzzle piece trying to fit,
not meant to be.
What’s the point of trying,
it shouldn’t be this hard.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It feels like the smile got devoured by darkness.
The spark tries to overpower the darkness
and the darkness fights harshly with the light...
Until the light finally fades out.
The darkness bounces around…
what is now an empty room.
Like no smile or light ever existed,
A fool to be forever more?

Seems to be a continuous trend
Is the darkness better than the light?
Change is a good thing but it never seems to happen.
Will a gift come out of the darkness bursting with light?
This is all that’s needed to save the smile from the darkness…
There never seems to be enough to provide such comfort.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I don’t appreciate the sarcastic tone you spoke so frequently
Not always knowing what was true or false
In the end you were a man full of epic fail.

And your eyes were harsh just like your words
They stared into my eyes as though afraid
Afraid of what you might find.
The eyes that looked back did not deserve the pain
She listened, she shared, and of course she cared.
For a man who let the hope grow,
Gave no reason to worry,
Only to let the hope fall into a pit of nowhere.
You want to make a difference and save the world…
How do you expect to do so?
If you can’t even make the time for something special?
You broke a promise not only once but twice!
I’m not the type of girl you break a promise on.
Not only was it broken,
I was stepped on and thrown away.
A shiny pearl that washed away on the shore,
What are the chances you’d find such a beauty…
It’ll be washed away the next time you look back.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Striped in a pattern oh so unique
different from others, maybe pink?
Pink cheeks when another steps near,
Emotions are not always so clear.
So many zebras with similar stripes
but not as good as mine and I’ve got feist .

This Zebra runs with those young and old
Never implying she is cold
There’s good in all,
even if I’m very small.
Sometimes the zebra feels oh so tiny
hiding behind some rocks, sitting on its hinny.
Watching from afar, all the competition,
thinking within, what is my mission?
Then the zebra grows a beautiful head of hair
slyly walking up to the one who was there.
Always watching those true eyes, showing such interest,
knowing underneath she was the best.
Insecure though, am I one of a kind?
Will these gentle eyes be mine?

Thursday, January 21, 2010
As she looked outside the window, she saw what she thought was smoke in the distance. She wondered whether an explosion occurred. There were airplanes flying from a nearby location. The thought of a terrorist attack crossed her mind. Her senses revealed that it was just pollution. So much pollution; what is the world coming to? I keep asking myself this question. Some people seem as though they don’t ask questions or don’t care but maybe in reality, they're the ones that care the most. Others go about living as though they hate everyone who crosses them. It’s greatly disappointing.

Did I make a mistake?
I’ll do whatever it takes,
To make you figure out,
That I’m here & I’m not going to shout.
I’m more calm than that,
Acting more like a purring cat.
Did I make you hate?
Well don’t hate, appreciate.
We are alive,
One day we all could become wives.
Life is too short,
Lets build a fort.
Put the past in the past,
That mistake will be our last.
Don’t pretend others don’t exist
Just because one of the 2 is really pissed.
It’s immature to dwell,
You’ll realize the other person is swell.
Just give them compassion to show you care,
So neither one will have to swear.
Being negative,
It’s best to forgive.
Do you see through the window?
Let me ask, what does it show?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I’m tired of wanting
I’m tired of caring
I’m tired of the memories
I’m tired of feeling
I want the pain to be gone
It doesn’t matter if I don’t want you here,
because you’re still there.

Do you think it’s better this way?
I thought I could help
but it seems you’ll never understand.
Maybe I should try telepathically.
I thought I understood.
But I think you’re lost.
Maybe you’ll find it one day
whatever you’re looking for.
On that day I hope you remember.

The girl who cared
If you believed her eyes
They sparkled with kindness
For a man who didn’t care
he went on with his days
Without a thought
still there
Without wanting the touch
still there
Without Feeling the memories
still there

Always there,
she would be for him just not in the same way.
She lost something that day, hope?

I can finally say you’re to blame,
but to blame another is like blaming yourself.
If that’s true,
the pain is ending.
There will be no more about this creature.

Look at me
What do you see?
Are you afraid?
Lets go to the arcade.
It's true you shouldn't be scared
because I only care.
I am here to be a friend,
To make a difference.
That's why I am here,
Have no fear.
All you have to fear is fear itself.
Don't feel so down about yourself.
No one is perfect,
We all reflect...
Something that links us together
We can all make each other feel better.
If we have compassion,
It's very In fashion.
Just thinking of the feelings surrounding yourself.
Pretend they are your own,
You wont feel so alone.
It's important to see,
This is how we all can be.
Even if you're afraid...
Don't hide in the shade.
You may just find,
that others bring a shine.
To your life that felt dark,
because it was missing a spark.
You can run from the fun.
Or hide when there's a lie.
But good friends are always there,
You'll know when they care.

I feel as though you must have not cared at all. How can it be so easy to let this end. It felt special to me. I don’t think I can find a person that will come close. Questioning myself now & whether I did something wrong. I know I did everything right or at least as much as I could handle. There’s nothing wrong with me, there are people who enjoy my company & don’t make excuses to leave. That doesn’t stop me from thinking these thoughts, about the memories I won’t forget. If you’re human you won’t forget them either because you know it was good. Underneath it all you know you don’t want to erase me, I’m too permanent.

It would hurt me if you did; I want you to remember my name. I hope it stays there forever more. I hope the picture of this red headed lady is drilled into your brain, no matter how hard you try the screws won’t fall out. You’ll be thinking that you have a screw loose because you just can’t forget me. Just like I will never forget you, however much it hurts, I’ll remember the pain, the laughter, the knowledge I’ve learnt, and I’ll remember all the memories. That’s how important you are to me. I don’t care if you were never ready, I don’t care if it takes an eternity. That’s not what matters; I just want you in my life & to not depend on only the memories.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Looking up & down between two mysterious figures,
Wondering whether he noticed this is what I pictured.
I can feel my face burning;
The room around me is turning.
How simple it must be to keep this dialogue,
If only I could see through this fog.
Distorting my mind,
From what I need to find.
Other simple images distracting me from what’s important,
Deep down I notice a pant.
Even coming up with its own little chant,
Those are my thoughts, in reality I can’t.
I must look pretty dumb,
When you ask a question and I seem numb.
With music in our ears,
We’re not confronting those fears.
But I’ve got fire in my heart,
The awareness is there that I don’t want to part.
Especially since you’re inspiration for my art.

Noticing how you're keeping conversation with other girls, which doesn’t necessarily make me jealous that you’re talking to them. It’s the fact that the flow looks so natural. If only it were that simple for me but I’m trying to step up gradually. Since there’s something burning inside, not anger of any sort but it makes me jittery. There could be no apparent reason for it just the fact that I’m sitting across from you falling into those crystal blues. I hear another talking about the amazing ness of those round orbs, although it all may be true but you really have no clue. Until you actually spend the time day in & day out with a person, showing true devotion, they wont grasp his mind. Does he even notice my determination? I always come back even when there may seem to be things we lack. Connection with a person doesn’t have to be made with conversation it can be simply shown by the way you look into each others eyes, how communication does not depend on speech. I won’t look at attraction in the same way again because to see whether there actually is a connection you need to be their friend. That also doesn’t mean you should try giving them random hugs to get closer to them, it doesn’t work you’ll just look like a dork. Especially with this complicated guy I’ve found.

Boom Boom goes the heart as though I’ve been for a 5k run, the inexperience is killing me, completely lost for words at times & only being able to afford a smile. After a few hours I conjure up the greatest response to show true personality. I don’t think he knows that I’m holding back a lot. The only reason for this is I don’t know what I should tell him, or how to bring those topics up. Not wanting to sound completely full of myself, I almost wish it were like before when I hadn’t told him, when I was treated like everyone else because now he’s more quiet, is this reason enough that I should stop fighting? I don’t think so because I still see something there. I feel it deep within my heart where the fire burns furiously, wanting more & more to keep it alive. I picture something amazing, two flames, together we’re tamed.

A kitten runs furiously out from nowhere, she pounces over the ditch straight to my leg & bumps her head against it beginning to purr. For a moment as she was springing toward me she reminded me of a tiger attacking her pray, when grazing against my leg that was a unsuccessful attempt at tenderizing it. But of course this kitten is too cute having no such thoughts referring to an innocent walker, only wanting attention. I’m not sure whether she even had a home, as I tried to walk away she began to follow even as my steps quickened. It was sad that I had to bolt my stride up to speed just to escape this little rascal.

I don’t see how anyone deserves this, completely came out of nowhere. It’s going to give him a heart attack not due to anyone but himself. Raising your voice is only your ego taking “control” of something you think is wrong but it’s not, you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill. Do you understand how close I am to her? Every time you yell at her I feel her pain in full force. I’m the one she shares the truth with because I never run her down for her “faults” she’s as perfect as a mother could be when in such a home with a man who sits on his throne. You think you’re the king of the castle because of the material things, if only you knew that it’s really not significant to have a wallet full of cash. I know this; she & I always have a blast, going as far as our legs will take us. When we’re together a transformation is formed, two very beautiful eagles flying high, soaring through the sky depending on only the moment. There’s no pressure for a decision just being together is what’s important. You’re the lion, every time we try to squawk a sound of facts, might as well fall off our branch onto our backs. I bet that’s what you want then you can bellow your lion’s chant. What’s a lion with no kingdom? That’s what you’d be left with, then what would you do I ask… This man is really a kitten, one of those wild cats who’d rather be left all alone, scratching anyone who comes near making them feel fear, Roar. Now this cat thinks it has won but it’s just having fun, still acting very young. This cat needs to grow wisdom to understand the most critical lessons to learn in life. Instead all he has are threats but we’re not his pets, make one move & we’re gone dude, on the phone if we have to, hit the road Jack.

There’s a package waiting to be unraveled, the contents have not yet been seen. Don’t assume there’s nothing big inside, you’ll make an ass out of You & me. Once your eyes have earned the pleasure of seeing what’s “underneath”, puzzlement will be solved. Wondering why those thoughts ever crossed your mind before. Finding that this gift really is special, different from anything you’ve ever seen after a life time of searching. If only you took the time to figure it out without giving up & belting out a shout, running to a room pouting like a little child. This child has a mind of knowledge but of course not about the unknown. The box that he thinks is empty shakes with envy, the anticipation is overwhelming, and it wants to share everything it has to offer. Even if this boy sits there & talks to the unknown, getting no response in return this doesn’t mean it’s not listening. I think it learns day by day just not always finding the right words to say. The unknown could be anything, a little kitten who sits at the end of your bed purring all the while, giving kisses as a sign to wake up. Being a loving & kind thing could be just a few of its talents but you never know. It’s just like don’t judge a book by its cover, this gift might be wrapped by banana peels with a predictable silly banana content filling, just like every other one you’ve had. Really there’s much more, I’m absolutely sure about that not trying to sound subjective but since I am the creator I can say this thing is absolutely one of a kind.

The Grey bunny was in her sight,
Bending down on her knees not afraid of a bite.
All you have to fear is fear its self,
This bunny is too distracted by finding wealth.
Eating a lot of grass,
So she can become strong lass.
Staying there all evening while we have our caffeine fix,
Having a fun time together because we’re all chicks.
There’s no competition between these three ladies,
If there were that’d be quite shady.
But walking back & seeing that the bunny was still there,
That’s the thought that makes me scared.
She hops to a new spot,
Hopefully there will be a safe pot.
I like this bunny a lot.
All I want is for it to be safe,
Not to be out so late.
The evening sky turns to darkness,
That’s when the smaller animals seem to lessen.
Those racoons stroll along the town,
But to me they just look like clowns.
Hopefully they’ll hide in a ditch,
Find some other pitch.
Choking on coal as though it’s a mole,
This should be their goal.

You know you really care for someone when you walk through a snow storm for him.
To maybe possibly have his chin but right now my chances seem a little dim.
Catch a glimpse of him & his beauty watching me,
Leaving me with a mystery.
I wore a leather looking skirt,
For the chance that we might flirt.
Some striped tights,
In case I’m in his sight.
But he wasn’t there again,
I can understand since nobody knew when the bad weather would end.
I still did want to have one last encounter before the break,
To give him a way to contact his mate.
It didn’t happen though,
Because of the stupid snow, I wish it would go.
Waiting in the breezy snow for an hour,
Wondering when I’d be able to take a hot shower.
Forgot my key in another bag,
Boy do I feel like a hag.
When my brother finally comes into my view,
And opens the door he doesn’t have a clue.
My hands are so cold,
Trying to get them out of their fold.
I turn the kettle on for my coffee,
While I munch on some sort of toffee.
Somehow the beverage wasn’t hot for my mouth,
I drank it down, feeling good about myself.
It still helped me keep warm,
After coming in from a long day’s winter storm.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I’ve never been so keen to show someone the real me.
Now I’m falling for you,
But I now know you didn’t have a clue.
Learning about who you are,
But now I’m feeling slightly under par.
Tried to open up my heart for some truth,
Somehow right now I’m feeling like a goof.
Everything that I thought was good,
It wasn’t what it should.
Exaggerating over it all,
Feel as though I could fall.
He’ll find out underneath,
That there’s a golden leaf.
The leaf needs to be known,
Before this life gets thrown.
Wouldn’t want to throw it away,
Or else there’ll be nothing more to say.
I’m more special than that,
I deserve a sincere pat on the back.
I’ve never done this before,
All I wanted was a little more.
True happiness would be the best,
He’s better than all the rest.
I wouldn’t ever consider him any less

Every touch that I’ve received,
It makes me feel like I’ve achieved.
Wondering what this is all about,
suddenly I don’t feel so much doubt.
As I walk home I find myself giggling,
You’d think something might be wriggling.
But it’s just my imagination going wild,
Now I’m acting like a silly child.
Having so much fun looking back at the days event,
Remembering just now you were lying on the vent.
Every moment I’m not with him,
Life just looks that much more dim.
You’re the light that keeps shining,
I can see the two of us dining.
Having a romantic night,
Only he can be my bright light.
Even if it’s dark,
We’ve got a spark.
It could brighten the street,
No one crossing our feet.
Creating our own path,
Strong is our wrath.

What if we all left you old man,
You just don’t understand..

The things you consider power,
Can easily be devoured.
You think we’re destroying your life,
Wouldn’t it be worse if you didn’t have a wife?
The person who’s stuck through it all these years,
Even when she had true fears.
Keep doing the things you do,
And you’ll find out very soon.
It’s not good to put pressure the way you give,
That makes us feel we can’t really live.
Our lives are our own,
No that doesn’t mean I’m supporting what others have shown.
But If there’s nothing wrong with who we are,
Why make your family feel they need to go far?
So you can cool down & go for a drive in your car.
Which is another one of your tools,
If things don’t go don’t go according to you that’s when we “lose”
Again you’re wrong,
Because there’s always a song.
To make ourselves move past,
What can never really last.
If breaking us down to your level is your plan,
Well I’m not a big fan.
It’s not going to work,
There are birds outside who can sing a nice chirp.
So If you think you’ve got all the power,
Then you might as well take a hot shower.
To wake yourself up,
We’re not always going to be your pup.
We’ll all be gone,
You’ll be left with no tight bond.